Capturing memories :)

So,  I definitely am obsessed with pictures. If you know my family, you know that we take pictures quite frequently. I also love editing pictures. I've always used picnik.com but, i am currently trying to learn how to use photoshop, since it offers many more possibilities. But, i was bored, and i thought that i would post some of my picnik edits on here now :)

Just a few pictures of the most important things in my life.. I love my family, and i love my boyfriend. :-) So this is what i enjoy spending my free time doing, maybe one day I can get skilled at using Photoshop and do a lot better things!  

New Beginning.

You know what is funny? You go to school for 13 years, waiting for the day that you graduate highs school ready to start your life as an adult. But, the thing is, i never thought about what i wanted to do with that adult life of mine. I don't know if it's just me, but when I graduated high school i was only 18 years old... how many 18 year olds honestly know what they want to be doing 20 years from then? At the time i didn't think much of it... but here I am, my Junior year of college and I'm just now figuring out what I want.

I always knew that i wanted to be a wife and a mom. Those things were just "givens" for my future. However, i never spent much time thinking about what i wanted to pursue when i got the opportunity to get out in the real world. The first thing i can ever remember wanting to be while i was growing up was an actress, and now after hearing stories and watching home videos, i feel like the little drama queen prissy 4 year old girl that i was could have easily made it in the hollywood world. However, now that it's 16 years later i see this wasn't a realistic dream. So, thinking back to the first realistic thing i ever wanted to be, it would have been a doctor. Even since i was little I've wanted to help people. But then i got a little older and learned that as a doctor i would have to deal with lots of blood and other things that didn't exactly make me feel too good! That quickly made being a doctor out of the question for this girl. After that, i honestly never really thought about what else i wanted to do. I know my mom and I had talked about sonography before, but that was when i was 16 so i never did much research on the possibilities. Then that day came, in 2009 when i received my diploma and every one you talked to asked, "What are you going to major in at college?" This question was so stressful to me, because honestly i didn't know. Finally, i had to make  a decision, so for some reason i chose education. Most people can't wait to get out of school and here i was going to school just so i could graduate and  go teach at a school for the rest of my life. It didn't make sense, but i just acted like i was content and excited about my decision. Being around all the people who were majoring in Elementary Education as well made me see that this was not my calling in life. The way they all talked about it made me envious. They were so excited about all the possibilities they would have being teachers. They all definitely had a passion for teaching that i lacked. I knew i needed to make a change. I thought about all the options there were and decided i definitely wanted to do something where i interacted with people, and that longing for wanting to help people still existed for me. This is when i thought that Psychology was the major that made the most sense. You definitely interact with people and the whole reason for psychology is to help people, i thought this would be so perfect for me. I'm not going to lie, i think psychology is beyond interesting. Learning how the human mind works and why people act the way they do is just fascinating, but once again, i was lacking that passion. I decided that i was just settling, not being willing to push myself to do something i would enjoy and find rewarding. I told my mom that i thought that it was crazy that my reasoning behind becoming  a psychology major had been the fact that i wanted to help people... ridiculous, right? You don't have to have a degree in psychology to help people. You can help people with a degree in nothing. So i did a lot of research, praying, and waiting.

Now, i will no longer be attending TTU... i will be transferring to a community college here in chattanooga, Chattanooga State University. I did research and guess what they have an amazing program for?? Sonography.

Thats right, the career my mom suggested and thought i would enjoy ended up popping back into my life. The only thing is, before i can even begin the sonography program i have to have at least and Associates in Applied Science of Radiology. So that means it will be two years before i can even start the sonography program. So it's a little discouraging because i feel like i'm just starting all over when in reality i should be graduating in a year and a half. But it's okay, i am very happy about my decision and i am so exited about all that i am going to have the opportunity to learn! Now they have 4-D ultra sounds!! How cool is that!?

I feel like it's been a long road to get to the place where i know what i want, but it's a road that i am very thankful for! If you never make the wrong decision, how are you ever going to learn anything new? When Thomas Edison first attempted to invent the light bulb and didn't succeed, did he give up? No. And in the end, after he accomplished his goal, this is what he said: " I did not fail, i just found 10,000 ways that wont work."

So for me, i didn't fail... i just found two career paths that i didn't want to take. Thats what growing up is all about, living and learning.
:)

Time with my Jesus

I have personally always loved the story of Jesus and the woman at the well. It's a story that never ceases to amaze me and I always feel like I learn something new every time i read through it. This morning as I was reading it again one verse caught my attention, John 4:6.

  ".. so, Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey..."

It's not huge and most people probably read that part and don't give it a second thought. However, this morning it caught my attention. Leaves me in awe that the one who saved me didn't come as some untouchable being who doesn't understand,but he came to save us being 100% human, feeling all the things that we still feel today. -Fear, Pain, Rejection, Happiness, Sadness, Anger..etc.- We truly do serve a God who can understand exactly what we are facing. So amazing.

Strong Enough.

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

("Strong Enough" by Matthew West)

I literally just listened to this song for the first time probably about 5 minutes ago. But when i listened to it and read the lyrics it really made me think. I am so guilty of this... So many times i get so stressed out because i don't know how I'm possibly going to handle a certain situation that i am up against. But thats the thing, I'm not supposed to handle it. Not on my own at least. God gives us all these different circumstances, all these overwhelming circumstances, not thinking we can handle it, but knowing that without Him we can't. He didn't make us strong enough to do it ourselves. We need Him. He is the only way that we are strong. How awesome is it that we serve a God big enough to be exactly what we need? This has been such a great reminder to me this evening. I'm so thankful that I'm not strong enough, I'm so thankful that i serve someone bigger than me bigger than any circumstance and I'm thankful that i serve a God who is willing to be strong for me because I am so pitifully weak.  I pray that i will always be reminded of this truth. Maybe you didn't need to be reminded of this, but I felt the need to share this with you regardless. 

Philippians 4:13

~For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

The Life Before Me

I have been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan for the second time and both times I have read there is one story he shares that always just grabs my attention. That is what I would like to share with you now.

"Brooke Bronkowski was a beautiful fourteen year old girl who was in love with Jesus. When she was in junior high, she started a Bible study on her campus. She spent her babysitting money on Bibles so she could give them out to her unsaved friends. Youth pastors who heard about this brought her boxes of Bible's to give away.

    Brooke wrote the following essay when she was about twelve; it will give you an idea of the kind of girl she was.

"Since I Have My Life Before Me"

By Brooke Bronkowski

I'll live my life to the fullest. I'll be happy. I'll brighten up. I will be more joyful than i have ever been. I will be kind to others. I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ. I will go on adventures and change the world. I will be bold and not change who i really am. I will have no troubles, but instead help others with their troubles.

You see, I'll be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age. Oh, I'll have moments, good and bad, but i will wipe away the bad and only remember the good. In fact that's all i remember, just good moments, nothing in between, just living life to the fullest. I'll be one of those people who go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan, and nothing will hold me back. I'll set an example for others, I will pray for direction.

I have my life before me. I will give others the joy i have and God will give me more joy. I will do everything God tells me to do. I will follow the footsteps of God. I will do my best!!

During her freshman year in high school, Brooke was in a car accident while driving to the movies. Her life on earth ended when she was just fourteen, but her impact didn't. Nearly fifteen hundred people attended Brook's memorial service. People from her public high school read poems she had written about her love for God. Everyone spoke of her example and her joy. 

I shared the gospel and invited those who wanted to know Jesus to come up and give their lives to Him. There must have been at least two hundred students on their knees at the front of the church praying for salvation. Ushers gave Bible's to each of them. They were Bibles that Brooke had kept in her garage, hoping to give out to all her unsaved friends. In one day, Brooke led more people to the Lord than most ever will.

In her brief fourteen years on earth, Brooke was faithful to Christ. Her short life was not wasted. The words from her essay seem prophetic: 'You see, I'll be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age.' "

Every time I read this, I am amazed. To see the impact that one fourteen year old girl made in such a short amount of time makes me feel like I have been so selfish and have wasted so much time. At 12 years old she wrote those words, not knowing that she didn't have much longer to accomplish all that she wished. This young girl was nothing short of faithful to her service to Christ.

This story is such a lesson to me in my walk with the Lord. This should be how we all desire to live. To serve God and do whatever He calls us to do, knowing that He will be faithful! I want to live my life unashamed of the amazing God who has saved me, I want to live so I can't help but show and share the love that Christ has demonstrated towards me. Yes, I do have my life before me. But just like Brooke didn't know that the life before her was only two years, I don't know what "life" here on earth I have before me. However, I do know that in this life ahead of me, however long or short that may be, I want to live faithful to my Jesus. I want to serve Him. 

                I will do everything God tells me to do. I will follow the footsteps of God. 

You make everything beautiful.

I am so blessed. I have so many things in my life to be thankful it is kind of mind blowing!  I was thinking about this a lot tonight and i couldn't help but think that all these things that i am so thankful for wouldn't even be here if things would have gone the way i had planned. Thank the Lord that His plan for my life was greater than what i had planned for myself.

Observing my family now and looking back at what it was like ten years ago, well a lot has changed! If i would have had it my way, my family would have stayed the "perfect" little 7th heaven family forever. But, that isn't what happened. So many things have happened in the past ten years that have brought us to where we are today. Even though it's not the greatest to think about, i can't help but smile and thank God, even for these storms. I have learned so much! I learned how to love, no matter how difficult, i learned to completely rely on God, and i learned the importance of friends. Without the bad that has gone on, i would have never learned any of this. My family isn't how it used to be, but i am still so thankful for them. I have the love and support of my parents in any situation and i have three amazing brothers who have my back any time.What a blessing!!  Also, if shelby's planned would have worked out, i would have kept myself in Xenia, Ohio forever. That is where my friends and family were and i never wanted to leave. But wow... all the many blessing i would have robbed myself of. Im so thankful for the friends and family we have in Ohio, but all the people i have had the opportunity of meeting because of the moves has been amazing! I have friends in a lot of places, and not everyone has that. How awesome to know that i am still close to people who live hours away! If i would have went to the college that i wanted, i would be living at home and commuting to school whenever i had classes. However, thats not where God wanted me. Now looking back at my decision i would have been crazy to have stayed home! I would have missed out on some amazing friendships and a lot of spiritual growth as well! Also, if things had gone how i had planned, i wouldn't be with the most amazing guy! I never imagined John being in my life as my bf... but i am so thankful that God had different plans.

My life isn't perfect and has been a lot to handle at times, but i would not change one thing!!! I am so thankful for all the times that things haven't gone the way i wanted or the way that i thought was best. I would be missing out on so much... Because of the bigger and better plans God had for me i have learned valuable lessons through my family and have been blessed by their support and love, I have friends that will always be there, no matter the distance, and i have a guy that is what i hoped for and sooo much more!

So, what are you thankful for? Ever thought about how God has worked things out in your life so that you could have that very thing or person? Jeremiah 29:11 is very applicable to this thought. We get so frustrated and upset when we don't understand what is going on but, cling to this verse and remember His plan isn't for harm, it's for good. Be thankful that things don't always go as planned, you have no idea what you could be missing out on!!